Positive Self Talk

What do you say to yourself? Is it positive self talk or negative? Are you aware that what we say to ourselves radically affects the quality of our lives, and our ability to do things effectively? How can you get where you want to be if you are always telling yourself "impossible," "problems," "never," and "I can't?"

Here are some of the things that positive people say to themselves, and some of the things negative people say. Use the lessons here to start talking to yourself in constructive ways, if you don't already.

Negative Self Talk:

When things go well: "This won't last... I just got lucky... I wish the rest of my life worked like this... "

Negative people view good things in specific contexts, give credit to outside factors, and remind themselves that it's only temporary.

When things go badly: "My life is a disaster... This always happens... I never get a break... Everything happens to me... I screwed up again... "

Negative people view bad things as part of the larger negative picture, see themselves as somehow flawed, and use words like "always," "never," and "everything," a lot.

Positive Self Talk:

When things go well: "My life is going well... I've gotten good at this... This is great... "

Positive people view good things as a general indication of life, they accept the good, and they take credit where it is due.

When things go badly: "That was bad, but... That went poorly because... It's a bad right now, but..."

Positive people view bad things as isolated, temporary, and due to outside factors that can and will change.

To summarize: When negative people explain bad events, they internalize them ("It's me again."), see them as permanent ("It's always this way."), and generalize from them ("Life sucks."). When they explain good events, they externalize them ("That's just lucky."), see them as temporary ("That went well today."), and see them only in a specific context ("At least THIS went right.").

When positive people explain bad events, they externalize them ("The weather caused it."), see them as temporary ("That was a rough couple hours."), and see them in context ("That part of the plan didn't work, but..."). When they explain good things, they internalize them ("My life is going well."), see them as more or less permanent changes ("Now I know how to do this."), and generalize from them ("Things are working out well.").

Try explaining things to yourself differently, and you'll immediately see a difference in your attitude. Make positive self talk a habit, and you'll see a difference in your life.