Personal Success Secret

What do you think personal success means? Most of us would agree that it doesn't mean appearing successful to others in order to feel good about ourselves. But our actions betray our feelings, and looking to others for approval is common. It often requires seeking what they seek, but what if you eventually have the things they desire? What if you gain enough money and power to impress them all? It will cause some good feelings and satisfy some lower nature that we all have, but this is a fragile and temporary success.

"Success" based on the standards and opinions of others makes you forever dependent on their approval. Your "success" ends as soon as they say it does. A change of public tastes, a financial problem or even just growing old and less attractive will leave you scrambling to win back that approval. This kind of personal success results in personal stress and spiritual corruption, despite any temporary good feelings it creates.

There is nothing wrong with money, homes on the beach or even fame and expensive toys. A successful human being can have these things without being "had" by them. On the other hand, to base your life on a wealth which is defined outside you makes you a slave to the whims of public opinion and to your own mistaken beliefs. You probably already sense the futility of chasing other people's dreams, but following your own bad ideas can be just as bad. Avoiding that is what the following secret of personal success is about.

Personal Success Is Beyond You

It may seem like a bold or perhaps even rude statement, but let me explain. The collection of ideas, images and thoughts you and I think of as our "self" are no such thing. This isn't about the conscious choice to maintain a certain "image." We all "play" such roles at times in our lives. What I am referring to is the interior forces that "play" us. There are patterns of thought and ideas in your mind that pass themselves off as "you," and you probably accept them as such.

I don't mean to be mystical in any way here. This is a real phenomenon that you can verify for yourself, but to speak of these things requires a metaphorical approach. For a moment imagine that an invader has taken control of your mind, and is telling you what you can and can't do, who to impress, why you should feel bad, and giving you a lot of other advice and commands. After you imagine this for a bit, start watching your own thoughts and you'll see that this is not an invention, but a description of how our minds actually work most of the time.

We identify with the thoughts and conversations which fill our heads. This mechanical "thinking process" that we assume is our "self" tells us how to feel and why we should feel that way. We even repeat the internal arguments as though this is who we truly are. You do not consider a virus in your body to be you, so why do you call those thoughts in your head "you." Without your conscious decision they come and go. They are contradictory and often self-defeating. But they are just thoughts aren't they? You are certainly more than this collection of random ideas and repetitious programmed reactions.

This is usually more noticeable in our friends, where we can easily witness bad ideas "taking hold" of them and leading them in destructive ways. Have you ever wondered why they would hurt themselves in such a fashion? It's simple identification. If they didn't identify with these thoughts as their "selves," they wouldn't be so quick to follow their advice.

If a man told you to jump off a cliff or otherwise hurt yourself, you would ignore this advice. Even if someone simply suggests why you give up on something important to you, you probably dismiss it as rude and none of their business. On the other hand, when the advice comes from your own mind in the form of your own imagined voice, you probably jump to obey. We all do at times.

Then we justify our actions and feelings using the arguments handed to us by this mind we think is so smart. All of us have missed opportunities or been lead to destructive actions or painful situations by the thoughts in our own minds, because we so easily believe that our busy mind is looking out for our own best interest. We think that it is who we are.

Once you understand this, you can understand this secret to personal success: Start to doubt your own internal dialogue. Let it ramble on while you mentally step back and see how much of it is nothing more than a mechanical reaction of the unconscious mind. Unless there is something deep and unresolved, you don't even need to see what childhood experience created this or that mental "program" or pattern of thought. You only need to witness it and see it for what it is, then reach beyond this false "you" for better answers and better thoughts.

Self awareness of this sort requires constant vigilance and continuing exploration, but it's worth it. You'll be surprised at how many things which you consider valuable are actually just ideas that started from the people and environment around you. Thoughts and beliefs are trying to perpetuate themselves in your mind, pretending to be your own, but you can dismiss them once you see them clearly for what they are. Then you can pursue what's truly valuable to your truest self. This is a powerful secret of personal success.